Yup, Just Like the City

A rough artist’s rendering of my x-ray results. Not to scale. 

So I finally got to see the specialist today, after ten days of telling people “I don’t know what the hell is going on!” I also finally got to see my x-rays, which were cool. And by cool, I mean I have no idea what I was looking at. It could have been my arm or it could have been my lung, I have no idea, I’m not a doctor. I just smiled and nodded like I do with everything. 

Story still applies: the arm is broken in three places right near the wrist, which allows for maximum clusterfuck conditions. It can’t be fixed with a cast, that would be too simple. I need surgery to put pins in my wrist to make sure I don’t get arthritis when I’m thirty. And the surgery is THIS FRIDAY!!! I don’t even have time to get all worked up about it! On the plus side, if I do get arthritis, I can blame it on the surgery and not constant…you know what, never mind. 

When they took my arm out of the sling, I wanted to run away and cry. My arm looked like Karen Carpenter (that’s not being mean, it’s just the best simile I could come up with). The hair was all matted, the skin was red with splotches of yellow, and it hurt like a mofo. It was just…so sad looking. My arm looked like a zombie. That is, if a zombie and Karen Carpenter had a baby and that baby was just an arm and it was my arm. Make sense? Good. 

That’s all I really know at this point. And there’s actually not a whole lot to rant about. Except for the male nurse. I swear, I don’t know what’s up with “the help” at our local hospitals, but they probably all need to be replaced. I’m probably just mad at him cause he re-splinted my arm and had to bend my wrist back and it HURT LIKE HELL. Still does as I’m typing. But he was all telling me how he didn’t like his job (as he’s splinting my arm, mind you) and how he’s pissed off at the doctor (who seemed like a pleasant chap to me). I’m all, don’t tell me this stuff! And let me tell you some bad work stories. 

The waiting room was exciting because everyone was wearing like the exact same sling as me. We all swapped war stories. Most were car accidents or sports injuries. I was the only tanner in the room. Was kinda hoping someone was as dumb as me, but alas. 

And that’s the story so far. Sorry to keep bringing up my arm, but it’s the biggest story in my world at the moment. I’ll see you on the other side! 

-So today I returned to St. David’s to pick up x-rays for my appointment tomorrow morning (at 8…in Round Rock…oh my). The place is designed like the hedge maze from The Shining: it’s confusing, I’m lost, it’s cold, and there was probably a homicidal maniac stalking me with an ax at some point. Their pneumatic tube system wasn’t working, their elevators weren’t working (yeah, I know! Thank God the legs are okay), so I had to tunnel down to the basement on foot to get the film. Moral of the story: don’t go to St. David’s. Or maybe just don’t break your arm. But still, don’t go to St. David’s.

-My broken arm is starting to smell like Sex Panther…

-Wedding season is upon us. Or, as over-eating singles like me like to call it: “What Are All These Assholes Grinning About?” Season. And then I help myself to a piece of both the bride AND groom’s cake! South Beach that! Okay, I’m actually excited and happy for several of the weddings coming up. And by several, I mean one. I couldn’t be happier and I’m not even being sarcastic for a change. You know the one I’m talking about. As for the others? Who says I can’t have a third piece of cake?!? What is this…China?

-So I hear Speed Racer was bad. And I really wanted to see it because me and Jason Street… I mean Scott Porter… are like best friends. I saw Iron Man which I’d like to write a review on but don’t feel up to it. Short and sweet: it was really really good and I liked it a lot.

-Speaking of Jason Street, I’ve been watching a lot of Friday Night Lights during my time of need and I found that I am crying more than usual while watching it. As in, it’s happened several times. I’m man enough to admit it (or am I…?). But I’m also going to blame the Vicoden, which I’ve graduated to taking recreationaly.

-I can’t believe I shared that last point.

-If there are any misspelled words in here, don’t point them out. If you do, you’re the kind of kid that made fun of the special class playing kickball at recess. And you’ll probably end up in St. David’s for all eternity.

Arm still in sling. Can’t see the specialist until Tuesday. If I had any lingering doubts about the need for health care reform, they have now been killed by the doctors at St. David’s. But thank you to everyone who has called or helped out!

My least favorite question is no longer, “So you live in Austin and your name is Austin?” It’s when people stare at my cast and ask, “Did you do something to your arm?” My response: I either glare like I do with the other question or say, “No, but my leg is killing me.”

There’s a lot more to tell and share, but typing ain’t like it used to be. Just know that I am fine, am not in horrible pain, and if I look like a hobo it’s only temporary. And if anyone wants to help with laundry that’d be great…yeah…

So I managed to break my arm this weekend in three places. It makes it a little hard to type so the posts might be light for a while. But there will be many funny stories on the other side, I promise. In the mean time, enjoy Mario Kart Wii without me…

MPrint has a pretty good run down of the thing, if you are at all interested…

I loved Super Mario Kart back in the day. Still do in fact. I really liked Mario Kart 64. I’m a little mixed on Double Dash, though. The game was still fun, but I don’t think the whole “two drivers” mechanic really added anything new to the system besides make it unnecessarily complicated (I know complicated is not the best word to describe Mario Kart).

The most exciting thing about the Wii, as it is with any new Nintendo system, is seeing how all of our old favorites are updated. Mario and Metroid both came out awesome, as did Legend of Zelda (even though they made Link right-handed which I had some issues with…how’s that for modern cool nerd?). On a system that has largely ignored the normal gamer in favor of the new, all-important “casual” gamer (by causal, they mean girls, three-year-olds, the elderly, and your mom), the old school Nintendo franchises have fared well for us old fans by still being, you know, games and not gimmicks.

But the Nintendo party games like Mario Kart and Smash Bros. are a different story. It’s not that they are bad games. In fact, they’re a hell of a lot of fun. Why? ‘Cause the one before it was fun, and the new one is the same game with slightly enhanced graphics. Super Smash Bros. Brawl is great and all but its pretty much the same game as Melee only with more shit thrown at you.

The exact same could be said about Mario Kart Wii. Played a Mario Kart game before? Great. You’ve played this one. Now, that’s not an entirely bad thing. Why mess up something that was just fine to begin with? And you’ve got online now. And motion controls. Those count for something, right?

First, the online. It’s awesome that you can race people half a world away or create ghosts on Time Trial tracks and then upload them for other people to challenge. But just like Brawl, the multiplayer in these games is the most fun when you are actually in the room with people, trash talking and throwing controllers and screaming and drinking and crying and what not. I tend to see online multiplayer modes in these games as a step backwards. It’s a great feature to have, just don’t skimp on the regular, four-controller mode, which Mario Kart Wii doesn’t. And it’s still fun…

…to a point. But along with introducing the casual gamer to games, Nintendo strives to equal the playing field. Their games are designed so that pros AND new players are on the exact same level most of the time. Where anyone can win at anytime. Think of the new Smash Ball in Brawl: it gives everyone a chance to win. I don’t think this is a bad thing, as it keeps the game interesting and keeps that one asshole from hogging the controller when you’re playing “winner stays in” (unless that asshole is me). But how does Nintendo level the playing field in this game? By making sure you are hit with some kind of projectile every waking second of your existence. It’s not even a racing game anymore. It’s a fucking third-person shooter. If you’ve made forward momentum for five consecutive seconds, consider yourself a master.

Kart kombat has always been one of the things that has made Mario Kart fun, and part of the strategy of the game. If you don’t like lobbing shells, go play something boring like Gran Turismo (…but it looks so real! Then watch an actual race!). In the olden days, besides walking uphill to school in the snow, you had shells, banana peels, and lightning to worry about. And it was fun! Flash forward to Wii, and you’re dodging red shells, green shells, those fucking BLUE SHELLS!, bullets, stars, bombs, fireballs, octopuses, rain clouds, goombas, Mormons, people on the Drag handing out flyers on transcendental meditation, and so on. You plummet from 1st to 12th place in a matter of nanoseconds before plunging into fire and getting up only to be knocked on your ass by another fucking BLUE SHELL! The combat has gotten out of control. And like I said, while it helps level the playing field, I don’t know if it necessarily makes for a more fun game.

The big innovation of this game, and the console itself of course, is the motion controls. The game comes with a plastic wheel that you can plug your Wii-mote into and steer the kart that way. It’s like when you used to play the game and you would turn your controller and your body along with the turns, only now it’s doing something. I thought the use of the wheel was fun and added extra immersion to the game, but the controls were not exact enough. Maybe after playing with it for a while I’ll get better, but after a while I had to revert back to the Wavebird in order to really get good on the tracks. This reminded me again of Brawl (see a pattern?). The Wii and its games provide innovative controls that, in the end, don’t always feel natural and we have to turn to our old controllers in order to get the most fun out of the game. You can also play with the Wii classic controller, or you could just jump out of a window instead. I hate that thing.

So it might sound like I didn’t like this game. Far from it. It’s still Mario Kart. It’s still fun. I still love playing it with people. I still like the whimsy. I still giggle at every single noise Yoshi makes. It’s just, you know, I’ve done it before. But maybe that’s the charm. If they changed it up too much I’d probably complain about that. If I could implore Nintendo to do one thing before the next installment (’cause I know they’re reading), it would be to cut down on some of the weapons, especially the big boys, that make it less a game of skill than one of luck based on whoever has the fucking BLUE SHELL!!! at the moment.

On a final note, I just want to ask: why are the denizens of the Mario universe such angry drivers? I mean, they are just unnecessarily asshole-ish on the road. Reminds me of another set of drivers I know…

“No! Let me merge! I don’t want to exit! OH SWEET JESUS WHY WON’T YOU JUST LET ME OVER?!?”

In fact, I think I-35 would make an excellent Mario Kart track. You got potholes everywhere. You got Traffic (remember Toad’s Turnpike?). You got the jolliest bunch of asshole drivers this side of Bowser’s Castle 3. And what about the Upper/Lower Deck Split? It’s like one of those cool shortcuts. And you can also fly right off the highway on it! The Mushroom Kingdom ain’t got nothing on the ATX!

Remember when I said that Rihanna singing M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” was my favorite part of the Glow in the Dark concert in Austin? Well, one of our friends in the “nosebleeds” recorded it! It doesn’t sound as great here as it did live (whatever does?) but it gives you the idea. It’s not the whole song, but the best part…

Rihanna’s version: 

And the original: 

And, I didn’t know this until too late, but M.I.A. played tonight at La Zona Rosa. It was sold out before I even had a chance to think! The concert last night was so good, I don’t know if I could have handled this one! 

I don’t really like concerts all that much, mainly because I’m cheap. It takes someone very special for me to fork over the money to watch a person sing. The lineup listed above is the exact sort of thing that will make me part with my money. The INSTANT I heard about it I knew that I was going and I have been anticipating it for months now.

The show lived up to those months of waiting. It was awesome.

Now, I could stop there because that’s all you really need to know, and the show was just about what you would expect from these performers, but I am the long winded type so I’m going to go into minute, excruciating detail on every single thing. The seats were amazing, provided by my awesome inside source at the Erwin Center. Not floor level but just a little bit up, raised above the people sitting below so that our seats were better than theirs. There’s really not a bad seat in the Erwin Center cause its not that big, but these were great. I don’t think the show was sold out, but there seemed to be plenty of people there if the lines for the bathroom/beer were any indication.

Anyway, the music!

Lupe Fiasco - We got there slightly late and missed the beginning of Lupe’s show. I’ve listened to both of his CDs, and I thought they were a little boring. From what I saw of his set, he was energetic and skateboarded a lot, but I missed most of it standing in line for beer and at the ATM, where two girls were looking at the screen like it was freaking rocket science. Literally, they were just standing there doing nothing. It was while these two bitches were contemplating astrophysics and wasting everybody’s time that Lupe played one of the two songs I liked, “Go Go Gadget Flow.” It sounded good from the hallway I guess. Anyway, we got our beer and sat back down just in time for “Superstar,” which is a great song and I’m sure the only one anybody really knew (the arena was kinda empty at this point). Lupe skated off, leaving us anticipating bigger and better things.

N.E.R.D.- I didn’t know as much about them as the other acts before the show, but it was quite the performance. The band consists of, from what I could tell, Pharrell, two drummers, and various other people on stage not named Pharrell who just sort of dance around. But, man, two drummers! That’s cool. Pharrell got the crowd pumped up and excited (too many, “I can’t hear you”s for my taste, but whatever) and the set was really good. There’s not much more to say. Much to the disappointment of the ladies in the audience, he did not take off his shirt as seems to be his shtick.

Rihanna - This is where the whole “glow in the dark” part of the “Glow in the Dark” tour really took off. Rihanna, in a skin-tight black one piece with neon seams all over it, danced around with light-sabers, cages (?) on wheels, and, yes, umbrellas. Now, I’m mixed on Rihanna as a musician (don’t get me wrong, I love her as a person). When the songs are good, they’re really good (like “SOS” and “Umbrella”). But when they’re bad, they are really bad. And she sang two of her worst: “Unfaithful” and “Hate That I Love You.” And she completely skipped “Shut Up and Drive” (”gonna’ ride that scooter to a limousine”). However, she made up for it by being so gosh-darn cute and putting on a good show and providing what I thought was the highlight of the evening by singing a little bit of M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes.” It all happened so fast that I had no idea what was going on. In the end, all I wanted to do was BANG BANG BANG BANG and give her more money to play more songs because it was good.

Kanye West - The real reason I wasn’t able to sleep for months. I’ll say right off the bat that I wish it were more of a straight concert than a play with a storyline or whatever it was he was doing. But this is Kanye, my favorite asshole in the world, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. Besides, the set was cool as were the plumes of fire and the movie screen behind him and the live band and everything. But he never wore his light-up suit, which was a bit of a disappointment. The story, as far as I could put it together, was that Kanye was stranded on a planet and had to make his way back home or something and along the way he needed to bring creativity to the universe because he’s the brightest star, don’t you see. In and out of this he sings his songs that have maybe something to do with the story. For example, the first song was “Good Morning.” When the ship lifts off, he sings “Space Ship.” When it crashes, he sings “Through the Wire,” which I think is about his real-life car crash but I’m not sure. When he wants to have sex with the ship’s computer, he sings “Gold Digger.” The story didn’t make a whole lot of sense, and kinda drug in the second act. But the music, as expected, was “kick ass” (to borrow a phrase from a local musician who shall remain nameless for the moment). Towards the end, he (and by he I mean the character) got discouraged and the whole crowd had to sing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” to him to provide Kanye with the extra strength to make it home. And he did. And there were fireworks and Chris Martin vocal samples and it was great. Kanye really is one of my favorite musicians in the world, and it was great to get the chance to see him live. The “Hey Mama” part was sad, but “Stronger” and “Homecoming” and “Touch the Sky” ended it on a high note.

So there’s the actual concert review. I feel as if I should break this thing into several posts because it’s so long, but I don’t feel like doing anymore real work at work, so here’s some Odds and Ends from the show:

- Don’t be fooled into thinking that the LBJ Library is close to the Frank Erwin Center and therefore a good place to park. It’s not. Just a warning. And I think its actually further when it’s 11:30 at night and you’ve just been dancing for like three hours straight.

- I saw maybe two “celebrities.” The first was Vince Young, who occupied one of the sky boxes behind us. People seemed more excited to see him than any of the acts there. Didn’t you people go to football games? And why was he dressed like M.C. Hammer? The second celebrity was Scott Porter, maybe. He plays Jason Street on Friday Night Lights, which is pretty much the best show ever and I’m well aware that I’m the only person who watches it. He’s going to be in the new Speed Racer movie for what it’s worth. Anyway I’m pretty sure it was him. As MPrint said, there was a 99.9% chance that it was him, which are the odds of a pregnancy test, which are pretty accurate. So the two former quarterbacks from two of my favorite football teams were there! Yay!

- I was not impressed by the person sitting next to me. He kept telling me to scoot over, which I couldn’t because it was A FUCKING CONCERT and there were OTHER PEOPLE THERE that were not named him and their worlds DID NOT REVOLVE AROUND HIM even though he probably had his own gravitational field. So I’m nice, I try not to bump into him, but the few times he gets up, he is bumping all over me, and not in that fun sexy sort of way. And he had more room to scoot down on his side than we did. What a fat dick. And he smelled like a fart.

- They were giving away little Kanye books after the show. I did not get one. I don’t know how I feel about this. I did get a litter bag. It said “Litter is For Cats.” Hipster douches!

- I have compiled a scientific pie chart that provides a demographic breakdown of the concert-goers last night:

All I’m sayin’ is that it will probably be more diverse at the Kenny Chesney concert tonight.

- Staying out ’till about 1:00 on a scho–I mean work–night ain’t what it used to be. College Me: “I have a test tomorrow morning but who cares! Kanye and Taco Cabana!” Current Me: “I’m going to get heartburn if I eat this late.”

So there’s my thoughts on the concert. A good time was had by all!

I really don’t feel like writing a full-fledged article/rant on anything today, mainly because I can’t decide which of the many subjects I want to rant on to rant on today, so I’ll just post a few random thoughts about a few random things…

1. Since this is a new blog, and I am a new blogger, I get incredibly excited when I find that anyone is reading it and I’m not just wasting my time (although I’m pretty sure I’m still wasting my time). Let me just say that the “Hipster Douche” post has been somewhat of a hit. Google searches on “skinny jeans” and “hipster douches” have led straight to here. How exciting! My readership is literally in the almost-double digits every day! I didn’t really know there were so many fans/enemies of hipsters out there. So I guess in the interest of placating my (small) readership, expect more posts on hipster douches in the future. I’m going to go ahead and say hipster douche one more time; that should get me five more hits.

2. So I’m running yesterday, jamming out to “See You Again” by Vanity Fair cover girl Miley Cyrus (it’s a catchy song so bite me), when my throat starts burning and my nose starts running. Now, I like to look hot while I’m running and constantly wiping my nose does not help my image. I also needed to sneeze and I couldn’t for the life of me. I’ve lived in this area all my life and have never been allergic to anything, so I thought maybe the recent random weather stirred up something in the atmosphere that was making me sick. Was it pollen? Was it mold? According to the allergy forecast…

…it’s pecans! I’m allergic to fucking pecans! I didn’t even know you could be allergic to pecans! It’s the state tree of Texas! Am I allergic to Texas? I mean, I’ve always hated pecans, state tree be damned. So, crap, now I have to worry about pecans making me sick? Can I just not worry about something for a while? I mean…fuck! Pecans! Who’d have thought?

3. I like the new Weezer song precisely because it sounds like Weezer, but I don’t like the new Coldplay song precisely because it sounds like Coldplay.

4. Tomorrow is the Glow in the Dark show! If the pecans don’t get me first, my heart might explode with excitement!

I’ve always been kind of politically apathetic. There are issues that concern me and stances that I would like taken, but living as I do in Texas, and my political leanings being as they are, and the candidates that are selected for us to choose from, I never really gave politics much thought. “What’s the point anyway?” I thought. This is a sentiment I’m sure is shared by many people my age, people out of college and thrust into the real world who rather than face reality with a smile on their face retreat into depression and apathy and episodes of Gossip Girl (seriously, why is that show a hit? I blame my age group).

But like those same apathetic lost sheep, I’ve changed my tune this political season. I’ve suddenly come to the conclusion that, you know, things are kinda going south right now. Not just for the rest of the world, they’ve always been screwed up. I’m talking specifically about America. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older, or things really have just gotten that bad, but everyone just seems so damn miserable all the time. And I don’t think I really need to list out any reasons why people are miserable as that would just make you more miserable than you already are. Point is, things suck right now and for once I’m going to lay my cynicism and distrust of the government aside and believe that change is possible.

As someone who leans Democratic (more on that in a sec), I think it’s awesome that we have the two candidates that we have now. Two people who have inspired someone as apathetic as me to really care about the direction our country is taking and believe that maybe they can do something right for a change.

And of course they are pissing it all away. Thus far, Hillary Clinton has been my man but the longer this thing drags out, the harder it’s going to be come November for someone not named John McCain to enter the White House.

People have asked me why I even picked Hilary in the first place instead of joining the First Church of Obama with everyone else. Well, like anything else in my life, it was determined by a quiz I took online (for the record, living your life in this manner is not the best way to get things done). I really wanted to research ALL the candidates before I made my choice, so I had to know exactly what my political leanings were in the first place. I’ve always thought of myself as extremely liberal when it comes to social issues and fairly moderate on the economic side of things.

But as it turns out I’m a borderline socialist, pretty much the opposite of moderate. This came as a surprise to me as I usually consider socialists to be A) Swedish or B) pinko Commie nutcases or C) hipster douchebags. When I really sat down to think about my political leanings, I came to the conclusion that maybe a little government involvement in the economy ain’t such a bad thing. Deep down, it would be great if there were no government and people helped each other and puppies frolicked and all that stuff. And I think conservative ideals towards the economy are really great in theory: it’s my money, I should do what I want with it, leave me alone. But if you think that, then why have a government in the first place? If we’re going to go through all the trouble of setting this thing up, then I believe that the government should provide for the people and help them achieve the best life possible. Even if that means higher taxes or government involvement. On social issues, I did about what I expected. No matter what economic plan they offer, I will probably never vote for a Republican based on the party’s stance on certain social issues.

So anyway, now that you’ve stopped reading, I chose Hilary mainly for four reasons. One, she seemed to conform with my new political awakening. Two, I decided health care was the major issue this time (if we’re going to fix one thing, let’s make it that) and her plan is the one that really stands out and she has fought this battle before. Three, the test told me I should vote for her. And four, every time I see a picture of her from behind and I see that all those campaign trail doughnuts have cascaded to her thighs, I feel so, so, so sorry for her.

And this is not to say that I don’t like Barack Obama. I like him a lot, in fact. He says things that no other politician would dare say. That thing about people clinging to God and their guns? Genius. And as I touched on earlier, I almost kinda wish he would just go ahead and win to get the thing over with. Because the Democratic party is tearing itself apart right now when what we really need is cohesiveness. It would kill me if this election is lost before it has even begun because we could not stop fighting ourselves.

But in closing let me say this. Both of these candidates have campaigned on messages of hope and change and electrified the electorate (that’s a cool phrase) unlike anyone I can remember (and I really only remember Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Bush, Kerry, and Al Gore, so make of that what you will). And one of them damn well better deliver on some of their promises. Because if I get this fired up, and they get into office, and things don’t change or get worse, then I’m done. I’m through. My heart will be broken and I will never care about anything again as far as politics are concerned. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Gossip Girl is on.

So that was my first serious post. Anyway, this made me laugh for like five minutes…

Less than a week in and I’m already talking politics and posting funny pictures of cats. Is this a mothafuckin blog or what?!?

Over the course of the last month or so, and especially since the soul-crushing, traffic-destroying, locals-and-normal-people-aren’t-going SXSW rolled into town, I have thrown the term “hipster douche” around with surprising frequency. This kinda surprises me, as I really don’t think I ever had any sort of problem with this subset of people until recently. I didn’t go into their areas (stopped going to Spider House a long time ago) and they stayed out of mine (I’m at Half Price Books a lot, which would seem to be a primo hipster hangout. Maybe they got a memo that I was there and they stayed away).

So I want to talk briefly today about hipsters and who they are and what they mean to me. But first things first: am I a hipster? I think its safe to say that I have many hipster tendencies, just as everyone is a little bit of everything (we’re all half gay, just so you know, we’re all a little bit country, a little rock and roll, that sort of thing). As someone who holds a degree in film, a little hipster-ness is hardwired into my DNA, and I can always see myself as someone who will forever strive to stay young and cool when I am neither nor have I ever been either (you follow?). I also listen to Journey un-ironically (hipster word). So, yeah, I have tendencies. I mean, I have a blog, for Dylan’s sake! That’s pretty hipster douchey!

But I can’t believe anything about myself until I take an online quiz about it. However in my online search I could find no such quiz that I thought would give any sort of accurate gauge. They were all snarky and ironic and sarcastic and unhelpful. Why? BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL WRITTEN BY HIPSTERS! I’m just going to have to wing it from here on out. And by “wing it,” I mean use Wikipedia.

Are hipsters an attitude? A clothing style? A musical preference? Are they just figments of our imagination the psyche creates as a target for all of our anger and aggression and need to lash out at something? As with everything, it’s a little bit of all of the above. While clothing style is the most obvious outward sign (skinny jeans and tight black shirts and pompadour haircuts and tats, my God, the tats!), I think my real issue here is attitude.

I am a person who likes what I like and I don’t really care what other people think. This has not always been the case, as the people who know me are no doubt aware. But if I like a band, I like a band. If Armageddon happens to be one of my favorite movies, then it’s one of my favorite movies. But traditional pop culture attitudes would stipulate that only certain bands are worthy of a listen and only certain movies are worthy of a viewing.

And for the record, I think Aerosmith is better than Radiohead, and the French New Wave can suck my nuts.

So it’s the elitist attitude I have a problem with (do only elitists use the term elitists? It’s a question to ponder, to be sure, but I digress). And this isn’t just true of hipsters, it’s true of EVERYBODY. It’s that desire to be the coolest kid on the block, and I see hipsters as a manifestation of this gone out of control, just like the frat boy attitude. Yes, I am comparing hipster and fratties. Do not turn your nose up at me!

But oh oh, Austin, let’s step back here for a moment. If you have a problem with hipsters and their elitist attitude, doesn’t that make you one of them? Doesn’t having an elitist attitude about elitist attitudes sort of make you a hypocrite? Maybe it’s not them with the problem but YOU? After all, you are speaking in the third person. My response? I’m just posing questions here, not answering them. Can’t we all just get along?

It’s questions like these that make Austin such a fascinating place to live it (my city is better than your city, by the way). It’s the liberal hideaway of Texas that at times can seem liberating and at other times seem forced and calculated and as closed-minded as the rest of the state but in a totally different way. Does that make any sense? ‘Cause my brain hurts. This discussion verged off onto a tangent but I think I got to the heart of the problem: I’m mostly just pissed off I didn’t get to go to SXSW (okay, not really). It’s something I don’t have an answer to, or a well-informed opinion on for that matter, and I’ll probably address it again in the future. Because have you ever screamed out “hipster douche!”? It’s quite liberating.

If anyone is reading yet, I would love to hear your thoughts. I feel that I got nowhere with this.