Because Deep Down, We All Want to Wear Skinny Jeans

Over the course of the last month or so, and especially since the soul-crushing, traffic-destroying, locals-and-normal-people-aren’t-going SXSW rolled into town, I have thrown the term “hipster douche” around with surprising frequency. This kinda surprises me, as I really don’t think I ever had any sort of problem with this subset of people until recently. I didn’t go into their areas (stopped going to Spider House a long time ago) and they stayed out of mine (I’m at Half Price Books a lot, which would seem to be a primo hipster hangout. Maybe they got a memo that I was there and they stayed away).

So I want to talk briefly today about hipsters and who they are and what they mean to me. But first things first: am I a hipster? I think its safe to say that I have many hipster tendencies, just as everyone is a little bit of everything (we’re all half gay, just so you know, we’re all a little bit country, a little rock and roll, that sort of thing). As someone who holds a degree in film, a little hipster-ness is hardwired into my DNA, and I can always see myself as someone who will forever strive to stay young and cool when I am neither nor have I ever been either (you follow?). I also listen to Journey un-ironically (hipster word). So, yeah, I have tendencies. I mean, I have a blog, for Dylan’s sake! That’s pretty hipster douchey!

But I can’t believe anything about myself until I take an online quiz about it. However in my online search I could find no such quiz that I thought would give any sort of accurate gauge. They were all snarky and ironic and sarcastic and unhelpful. Why? BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL WRITTEN BY HIPSTERS! I’m just going to have to wing it from here on out. And by “wing it,” I mean use Wikipedia.

Are hipsters an attitude? A clothing style? A musical preference? Are they just figments of our imagination the psyche creates as a target for all of our anger and aggression and need to lash out at something? As with everything, it’s a little bit of all of the above. While clothing style is the most obvious outward sign (skinny jeans and tight black shirts and pompadour haircuts and tats, my God, the tats!), I think my real issue here is attitude.

I am a person who likes what I like and I don’t really care what other people think. This has not always been the case, as the people who know me are no doubt aware. But if I like a band, I like a band. If Armageddon happens to be one of my favorite movies, then it’s one of my favorite movies. But traditional pop culture attitudes would stipulate that only certain bands are worthy of a listen and only certain movies are worthy of a viewing.

And for the record, I think Aerosmith is better than Radiohead, and the French New Wave can suck my nuts.

So it’s the elitist attitude I have a problem with (do only elitists use the term elitists? It’s a question to ponder, to be sure, but I digress). And this isn’t just true of hipsters, it’s true of EVERYBODY. It’s that desire to be the coolest kid on the block, and I see hipsters as a manifestation of this gone out of control, just like the frat boy attitude. Yes, I am comparing hipster and fratties. Do not turn your nose up at me!

But oh oh, Austin, let’s step back here for a moment. If you have a problem with hipsters and their elitist attitude, doesn’t that make you one of them? Doesn’t having an elitist attitude about elitist attitudes sort of make you a hypocrite? Maybe it’s not them with the problem but YOU? After all, you are speaking in the third person. My response? I’m just posing questions here, not answering them. Can’t we all just get along?

It’s questions like these that make Austin such a fascinating place to live it (my city is better than your city, by the way). It’s the liberal hideaway of Texas that at times can seem liberating and at other times seem forced and calculated and as closed-minded as the rest of the state but in a totally different way. Does that make any sense? ‘Cause my brain hurts. This discussion verged off onto a tangent but I think I got to the heart of the problem: I’m mostly just pissed off I didn’t get to go to SXSW (okay, not really). It’s something I don’t have an answer to, or a well-informed opinion on for that matter, and I’ll probably address it again in the future. Because have you ever screamed out “hipster douche!”? It’s quite liberating.

If anyone is reading yet, I would love to hear your thoughts. I feel that I got nowhere with this.